Bamboo Bugaboos

Munch. Munch crunch. Munch crunch crunch munch crunch. Every day you hear this around you 24/7. Everywhere you look people are chewing on Bamboo sticks like their life depends on it. Even in regal places it happens. Doesn't matter if your about to kiss the bride that bamboo stick take priority. Nothing is more important then eating Bamboo. Go to sleep, dream about bamboo. This new craze swept the world in only 3 months. Christianity? Nah get that shit out of here the Church of Bamboo owns all. In Asia there's currently tensions rising about who owns which Bamboo forest. The year is 2022.

Stories about people going missing and turning into monsters who wreak havoc on people by eating them has been around, legend says that they've eaten too much Bamboo. Pffffft what kind of bullshit is that? Whose gonna believe that? Wait? Someone does? It's the Eskimos? Fuck them.

Currently the local Eskimos of Northeren Canada have been harassed non-stop by mobs of people and constantly on the internet. Forced to move further up north, they struggle with the increasing challenges of the cold. Praying to the ancient gods of their tradition that dietys will come and fix the world of those bamboo eating freaks.

Will it ever come true?


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1. Basic wiki rules yada yada



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Solarx: Funny Valentine(Currently President),  Narancia Ghirga, Giorno Giovanna, Ciococlata, Secco, Ghiaccio, Risotto Nero, Pesci, Diavolo/Doppio, Zucchero, Yoshimitsu, World Leaders

Pushing: Penny Polendina, Midnight, Neopolitan, Weiss Schnee

Phantom: Nanashi, Asahi, Daywatch!Akira, A single Dodogama, a Gore Magala, Shrapnel, Diezell, Sister

Gold: Captain Tashigi, Pit, Filla

Alpha: Pufferfish, Wander, Sylvia, Snatcher

Neon: Futaba

(gimme penny polendina, midnight, neopolitan, and weiss schnee)

(Accepted)

(I would like to request Nanashi, Asahi, Daywatch!Akira, A single Dodogama, a Gore Magala, and Shrapnel(Darkest Dungeon mod))

(Accepted)

(may I have Captain Tashigi, Pit, and Filia?)

(Ayup)

Amidst the bitter cold of the Canadian North tucked away from all forms of civilization, a small village of Eskimos were all huddles around the village elder who sat upon a tall exquisite chair with primal incantations and symbols carved into the wood of it. One Eskimo man brought before the elder a small bowl of blue powder. With a shaky hand the elder took the bowl from the man. Slowly the shaky hand of the elder scooped up powder in her hand before tossing it into the air behind her. Out of the blue(hA) two Italians seemed to appear from the dust.

Immediately they start looking around like they've just had a sack over their heads for hours and had them ripped off. The blonde one was already hyperventilating and missing a shoe for some reason? There was dried blood around his eye to, neat. The other short not blonde teen was fast asleep before hitting the ground and sucker punching the other teen in the nose.

"HUH YOU LIKE THA-G-Giorno?!" The shorter teen, Narancia recoiled with confusion flooding over his face.

An invisible force was juuuuuuuuust about to return the favor to Narancia before it stopped centimeters before his face.

"Narancia?" The blonde teen, Giorno spoke through raspy breaths.

"What the fuck is going on dude?! One second I was in the turtle and the next I'm socking you in the face surrounded by Eskimos and snow! Y-You better have an explanation for this Giorno I'm going fucking nuts!"

Before he could answer his friend Giorno had to do a quick scan around the area.

Was it just fate or sheer coincidence? Gold Experience was about to kill him but I was transported here right before his fist connected...No...Is it possible it got to my brain receptors? Is all of this an illusion? Giorno's suspicions started to gnaw at his mind while he looked frantically around.

(I would like A Pufferfish please)

*Accepted)

There is a Fish.

A Pufferfish.

He swims in the ocean, enjoying life despite not being at the top of the food chain. Such a different world, than that of Mankind, but an enjoyable one.

Something feels different today, although he can't put his finger on it.

He swims, for that is what he does.

That train of thought is probably derailed by the sudden sound of glass shattering.

"Wh-my milkshake!" A feminine voice despairs. The source is what appears to be a red-eyed schoolgirl dressed up in black and white, with bits of her black hair peeking out underneath a white hat with black ribbon. She was also, up until now, sitting on a stool that seems more in place at a bar, with said stool being brought with her. There is also glass shards and the remains of a thick, creamy vanilla milkshake (complete with whipped cream and a cherry on top) on the ground before her.

It is at this point she notices everything else, and she freezes, slowly taking in the scene before her.

"...uh...question - where did the MadMan's Cafe go? And everything else?"

A moment later, she holds down her hat to keep it from flying off, seeing as it's shifting for some reason. Must be the wind.

(futaba pls)

(Yupp)

(The orange spoon and his steed please)

(..... That means Wander and Sylvia)

(And also Snatcher pls)

(The big yes)

After the girl's apparent clear shared confusion Giorno throws the idea that his brain receptors are being messed with, but doesn't let his guard down. No immediate threat had made itself known so far but one could show up any second. First thing to do was to calm down Narancia. That little shit was pointing his finger right at the girl yelling at the top of his lungs.

"AAAAND WHO THE FRESH FUCK ARE YOU?! ANSWER ME?! NOT GONNA TALK HUH?! WANNA A PIECE OF ME MOTHERFUCKER?! I'LL BLOW YOUR GODDAMN BRAINS OUT IF YOU DONT ANSWER MEEEEEEEEEE-

Narancia is promptly shook by Giorno who brings him close to his face.

"Narancia, the enemy is gone. We're in no immediate danger, you didn't notice it but she's just as confused as we are. The sooner you stop screaming the faster we can find Buccellati and the others."

That last part is what finally got Narancia to calm down.

"...Alright alright, but I don't trust that bitch one bit."

Also appearing from the dust was four additional humans. Well, three humans and one android.

One had orange hair with a black bow on top, and was wearing a mint-green dress with similarly colored eyes to match. However, if one looked down, they'd see what appeared to be two robotic legs, barely hidden by black leggings. She slowly turned in place, analyzing her new surroundings.
"Salutations!"

A second had spiky black hair, and sported a white and black skintight outfit with purple thigh-high leggings, a deep red belt with a yellow buckle, and oddly enough, handcuffs on her wrists. As soon as she appeared, she immediately began to shiver. Guess that outfit of hers wasn't made for the cold.

The third wore a brown coat on top of a white top with pink details, with brown and pink hair to match. She also wore a black bowler hat, white pants, and a grey scarf. Her pink-and-brown eyes stared at the orange-haired android for a bit, before cautiously backing away.

And the fourth wore a blue and white dress, her white hair in a braided ponytail with a grey rapier hung on her waist. She also looked around, then quickly grabbed her rapier and pointed it at the third girl, who simply smirked and slung a parasol around her shoulder.

And you know who else shows up? Another girl. She's in her pajamas and God damn is she fucking freezing. Is this snow? She doesn't even know if it can snow where she lives.

"W-What the hell?!" She's already shivering and snaps close the laptop that she (probably unfortunately) has with her. Futaba's regretting her lack of footwear and her rather short shorts.

And following her were - what was that? A monkey? An orange spoon? Some kind of furred creature, atop a ... horse? A weird blue horse. Like something out of a kid's show.

Oh and also a giant purple snake-looking thing- oh wait it's gone.

The girl flinches when Narancia yelling at her, and has no immediate reaction when Giorno intervenes - aside from adjusting her hat again; shifting even more for some reason - and after a moment, she starts to speak up. "I'm-"

Then she gets interrupted by the several sudden arrivals.

As if to make matters worse, two more drop in after the spoon, blue horse, and purple snake thing.

The first is a boy who at most looks thirteen, and in spite of the fact that he's wearing a white toga, black shorts, sandals, and other things not very conductive to being warm, he is sleeping rather soundly. And snoring. Also, it's hard to tell at first because of how he's laying down in the snow, but he appears to have white angel wings.

The other one is a young woman in her early twenties who almost immediately trips, letting out a cry of alarm before falling flat on her face. From what can be seen, she's wearing some kind of pink naval uniform - unbuttoned and fastened around her shoulders like a cape for some reason - and blue jeans. She also has red glasses that fall off when she trips and land a good few feet in front of her, contrasting with her blue hair.

The young woman mutters a bit to herself before reaching for her glasses and beginning to clean them on her jacket.

"So cold so cold so cold..." Futaba mumbles to herself repeatedly as she cleans off her glasses and puts them back on. Squinting, she looks around at everyone. "Why the hell is there so much snow?"

"Sylvia, where are we?" Wander says.

"I've no idea, but it's flarpin' cold!" Sylvia snarls, shivering.

Wander looks around, seeing everyone getting their bearings.

"Well, might as well make a good first impression." Wander says, standing on top of Sylvia's saddle and tipping his hat. "Howdy everyone! My names'-"

And then there's an explosion behind Wander that knocks him and Sylvia back. A circle of blue fire bursts into existence and the purple snake from before rises from the center of the Inferno. Only it's not a snake at all: it's a lengthy ghost, with yellow eyes and a wide yellow grin, and a ragged beard. The entity throws back his head and laughs, before looking down, spreading his arms and shouting:

"FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS! You have summoned The Snatcher from his home, and now you shall pay the price!"

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The fish peeks out of the water for a moment and looks toward the land. A dock. Huh. That's odd.

All the humans were eating the same food at the same time. He did not know why, but they were.

Then a boy came along. He had a wheelbarrow behind him, inside it sat a fish bowel. The pufferfish decided to investigate this strange human phenomenon. He'd be safe from predators too, so that was a bonus.

With a swim and a hop he was beside a goldfish in a sphere of glass. And just like that, his world shrank.

And you know what else shows up, a large hulking purple dragon-like creature. Uh. Okay then. It doesn’t look like it has eyes.

Another person ends up next to Futaba. A very familiar person. With dark-raven hair and fake glasses.

And next to Narancia, a girl with pink hair and uh, no arms, ends up next to that particular group.

"Akira!" Futaba is relieved. At least if she dies of hypothermia she'll die with a friend by her side.

The android suddenly began to hover above the ground, catching the attention of the woman with the rapier.
"Hey, Penny!"
"Hello, Weiss! It seems we're in an unfamiliar location!"
"Y-you just now-w-w noti-iced?"